CIRCLE OF SECURITY INTERVENTION PROGRAM FOR PARENTS AND CHILDREN
MY MISSION AND VISION
In 2016, out of the conviction that an attachment relationship characterized by emotional safety is the greatest gift that a person can give to another person, I became a “Circle of Security” facilitator after training with Kent Hoffman, one of the originators of this unique, evidence-based program.
Whether we’re talking about the parent-child relationship, the couple relationship, the friendship relationship, the mentor-disciple relationship, or the therapeutic relationship, I believe that when we meet someone who is consistently approachable and predictable, who knows the chemistry that takes birth of gentleness and firmness, and who cares for the best for us, we actually find that fertile environment we all need to grow spiritually. In everything I do, I strive to convey this message and support such relationships.
In my searches through the complexity and unique world full of mystery of the human soul itself as well as of my clients, I understood how important the primary relationships between children and parents are. These primary relationships sometimes carefully shape or brutally sculpt the primary idea of love, care, belonging, value, contact, or relationships. Future generations will live in a world different from that of our parents and grandparents. The period of transition that we were all going through generated a rift between generations.
Social, economic, and cultural conditions are constantly changing, and that’s why sometimes we feel like parents are out of date in communicating with our children. We have accepted that we are, in a period of transition, at an extremely painful crossroads: affections. It is difficult for parents to definitively break away from the models of their parents, so familiar and in which they still find themselves so easily. Rationally, on the other hand, they have already recognized that they have a duty to avoid for their children a series of abuses that these models perpetuated without permission. Conflict situations in the contemporary family (which is gradually moving away from the traditional structure) appear with alarming frequency, and parents fail to overcome the communication barriers, and the child is the first to suffer, being exposed to abuse and neglect.
The parent caught up in daily stress ignores the important role he has in the development and education of the child, in his involvement in training, and often notices the children’s problems only when they manifest, and the solution is to call for support from specialists only in crisis situations. Thus, a need was felt to renew the knowledge, skills, and values that parents can call upon to be able to maintain good long-term communication with the child, without completely renouncing family values, which still remain the best framework for the development of the child in each of its stages of growth.
The European values that we have adhered to stimulate us even more to give up traumatic methods, and that the rights of the child should no longer be an abstract concept but an everyday practice for each of us. Moving to another dimension of the parent-child relationship means sometimes painful decisions, taking responsibility with the awareness that although perfection does not exist, I cannot simply give up the duty to seek and get as close as possible to the ideal parent. How much to throw away the old models? What to keep? Where to introduce the change? They are no longer alone in front of these questions.
This inner search received real support. Parental education is now an alternative at hand, our existence, of specialists who are ready to support you and help you to better understand first of all yourself, not only your children, so that future generations stop living your moments of impasse and adopt flexible attitudes that allow change and adaptation more easily.
What is the 'Circle of Safety' Parental Education Program?
The Circle of Security program is a psychological training and parenting education program based on attachment theory described by John Bowlby. It helps parents or caregivers build secure relationships with their children, focusing on understanding behavior as a signal of a specific need and acting accordingly. Circle of Security Parenting aims to make parents reflect on their attachment experiences, reducing negative mental attributions to their child’s normal attachment-seeking behaviors. Parents can then provide a secure base for their distressed child, improving their child’s attachment.
To respond more easily to our children’s needs, we must first understand ourselves as adults, becoming aware of our behaviors and reactions. A secure relationship between parent and child helps the child trust themselves and others, explore the world with courage, develop emotional understanding and management, seek support when overwhelmed, empathize with others, and be kind and gentle.
Here you can find a short video presentation of the program: Circle of Security
Why should I participate?
The child’s way of assimilating and understanding relationships, behavior in society or at work, and facing the difficulties, joys, or trials of life are modeled in the first years of life. Children learn from imitation, just as we learned from our parents. Often, we find ourselves doing exactly what our parents did, despite promising not to do it with our children, leading to a vicious circle and feelings of guilt. The Circle of Security parenting program helps break this cycle, enabling parents to change their perspective, focusing on the child’s needs rather than their behavior.
What are the benefits?
The research over a period of 50 years, regarding how the development of the sense of security in attachment relationships is or is not supported, is the basis of the statement that the more secure a child feels, the more capable he will be:
• to enjoy more happiness with their parents
• to feel less anger towards parents
• to turn to parents when he has problems
• to trust him
• to solve his problems
• to get along better with friends
• to be in better relations with brothers and sisters
• to be kind and gentle with those around him.
The greater the feeling of security for the child, the more satisfaction the parent will feel in the “job” of parenting.
The overall goals of Circle of Security Parenting (COSP) are:
• Increase caregiver’s capacity to identify attachment needs using the Circle of Security graphic
• Increase caregiver’s ability to read young children’s cues
• Increase empathy for the child
• Increase caregiver’s capacity to regulate stressful emotional states (their own and their children’s)
• Increase caregiver’s capacity to provide comfort when their child is in distress • Increase caregiver’s capacity to self-reflect
• Increase caregiver’s ability to read young children’s miscues
• Decrease negative attributions of the parent regarding the child’s motivations
• Increase the parent’s capacity to pause, reflect, and choose security-promoting caregiving behaviors
• Increase caregiver’s ability to recognize ruptures in the relationship and facilitate repairs
Who is it for?
The program is designed for a broad group of caregivers who may have widely varying levels of risk. This includes but is not limited to parents and future parents (mothers and fathers, sometimes couples together), foster carers, and childcare providers (nannies, teachers, educators, social and maternal assistants.). It is recommended for anyone who is in contact with children.
How is it structured?
This program is delivered to groups in community settings or in participants’ homes. Eight 90-minute ‘chapters’/ components make up the program:
1. Welcome to Circle of Security Parenting
2. Exploring Our Children’s Needs All The Way Around the Circle
3. ‘Being With’ on the Circle
4. ‘Being With’ Infants on the Circle
5. The Path to Security
6. Exploring Our Struggles
7. Rupture and Repair in Relationships
8. Summary and Celebration
The program spans 8 weeks, with weekly 3-hour meetings in small groups of 6 to 10 participants maximum. Video material and printed resources are used to facilitate discussions, providing insights into real case situations where parents faced difficulties in their relationship with their children.
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